Milk and roses squeaky clean
by launcherofzeroship
Summary: Erwin's musings about the scouting legion's hygiene habits. De-anon from the SNK kink meme.


Today, too the headquarters was as orderly as always.

Erwin still remembered the time when he first joined the scouting legion – idealist men and women, fighting at the cost of their own lives in order to explore and reclaim the lost territory. With the constant bouts of action topped off with copious amounts of life-threatening situations, it was no wonder that incidentally, the legion was also not big on the subject of hygiene. Years ago, their headquarters was a mess and the personnel seldom bathe. Erwin could personally sympathize with such sentiments, no really. After all, he was once one of them. _You can hardly calm down and have a nice bath when you have got to bury a fallen comrade, don't you?_

However, things changed when he finally recruited_ that_ man. Erwin had always known and could testify with confidence that Rivaille was different from the rest, be it due to his personal background, combat aptitude, intelligence, or…affinity for cleanliness. Well, there was also the topic of his physical build, but that was something for another time. Ever since then, the headquarters had never been so clean, it was almost scary. The spider webs at the corner of ceiling, thick dusts that had coated the sparse furniture, rumpled sheets, dirty dishes and laundry at the washing room …they were all dusted, washed, folded, and experienced other such cleansing variations thereof. Even the paperwork sitting at the top of his desk was properly stacked, making an even line. The place practically sparkled, and in the center of it all, stood Rivaille, bathed in the glory of the morning light that streamed from the open windows, a make-shift mask hiding half of his face and holding a rag.

"Good morning, Erwin."

Little did he know that it was just only the beginning of many more things to come.

* * *

Soon, the legend of Rivaille became well known. Not only for his titan fighting prowess, but also for his particular obsession towards hygiene, though the latter part stayed strictly within the confines of the legion.

"Say 'Rivaille' three times in front of a mirror and he will come to clean up your room!" …or so the rumors went. The situation had been going on repeat for years, somehow mutating into a collective habit along the way. There was always someone busily sweeping or mopping the hallways, taking turns doing the dishes and laundry, or simply rearranging their equipments at the crack of dawn – those kinds of things. The curious thing was that they did it all with their own volition, perhaps just purely (or not so purely) out of respect – and probably fear – for the Corporal. Bottom line was, a clean headquarters was nothing unusual, but this was the first time that Erwin had ever seen…so much display of attention towards personal hygiene in this military branch. Erd was shaved for once, Auruo had his hair combed out neatly, Petra was pink as if she had just came straight out of the bath, and Gunther's nails were perfectly trimmed…all of them giving off the faint smell of fresh soap. _And his sense of smell is not even as strong as Mike's_.

Now that he thought about it, those very same people were also among one of the most eager to – as they all said – "disinfect" Eren after he came home battered and covered in dirt. Eren then emerged not long after with a clean set of clothes and thoroughly scrubbed – it was rather nice of them, he would admit. However, he was also never the same man again.

The same could also be applied to other members of the scouting legion in general, though none has beaten the special operation squad in the terms of their…intensity. Perhaps days of regular contact with Rivaille had finally rubbed off to them, or maybe it was meant for a different reason altogether – he could make up several, the highest degree being _courtship_. He promptly dismissed the thought.

It was, to put it mildly, a fairly peculiar routine they were having, but as long as they get the job done and survived, he had got nothing to complain. Besides, he was starting to get fond of a tidy office and well-kept subordinates.

* * *

There was a shortage on their supplies, especially soap, detergent, and other hygiene products due their recent liberal amount of use…but Erwin didn't care and was planning to just keep quiet. And so did Hange.

_Because it is all so very amusing, _he mused with a smile.


End file.
